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Be a
Role Model
by Steven Rudolph
April 2, 2008
Role models play an important part in our lives. They are
people we can look toward for motivation in our times of
darkness-sources of inspiration whom we can follow to help
us achieve success in life. Be it celebrities, business
leaders or historical figures, such individuals spur us on
in our times of great difficulty, as we imagine how they
triumphed in their own moments of strife. However, the most
important role models are not necessarily those of legendary
proportion-the famous faces that adorn textbooks, newspapers
and bedroom walls. In fact, our greatest role models can be
found right under our own roofs.
Parents are children's first role models-mentors who provide
guidance in myriad ways-everything from how to tie a shoe to
how to manage time. The examples they set establish the
patterns and behaviours that their children will follow for
a lifetime. But as self-evident and trivial as this point
might seem, there is a deep-rooted neurobiological angle
that explains how this phenomenon happens and why adults
should strive to be exemplary in their life practices.
The human mind is wired to copy others. Special brain cells
called 'mirror neurons' help us tune into our fellow human
beings and learn from them. When we watch others behaving in
a particular way, our mirror neurons fire-and most
amazingly, they fire in the same way as when we perform that
action ourselves. It is from here that we learn by imitating
those around us. So by observing others in action, our brain
is essentially influencing us to act in the same manner.
Consider then what happens at home when children observe a
mother or father assisting an elderly person, exercising or
being forgiving when someone has wronged them. It is as if
they themselves have engaged in those constructive
activities. However, the same holds true if they watch
someone neglecting a grandparent, lazing about the house, or
being unforgiving.
Further, scientists have determined that the first six years
of children's lives are the most impressionable with respect
to the brain's development. It is during these years that
our neural networks are structured, and serve as the brain's
foundation for the rest of our lives. As such, we can expect
that the way we are inclined to behave when we are grown
up-for better or for worse-depends extensively on the people
we are exposed to during these critical years.
So if you are a parent, my hope is that you keep in mind how
powerful and significant your influence is on your children
during their childhood. If you smoke a cigarette, tell a lie
or behave violently in their presence, you effectively
engage them in doing the same-and predispose them to do so
in the future. Therefore, when it comes to raising kids,
keep my Law of Learning #9 in mind-Be a Role Model. Then
when you search for sources of inspiration for them, you
need not look far. You are the greatest role model that they
will ever have.
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